Well, I lost my bid on the breast pump, but that's actually not the worst of it. I made a huge rookie mistake and submitted a bid on a pump that wasn't what I wanted, which - of course - I won. So now I am waiting for my inferior, Petite Playtex pump to arrive, and the only consolation is that even with shipping, I paid less than retail. Mr. R says no problem; we can re list it and try to recoup the loss. Love that Mr. R.
I also made my first foray into Babies-R-Us yesterday, and it really put me in a funk. I quit going to baby showers about two years ago, sending regrets and Target or B-R-U online gift cards instead. Well, in my absence, Babies added a photography studio, among other things. As soon as we walked in, we were hit with adults acting like idiots to make their children smile and kids dressed up way nicer than nature intended looking on the verge of meltdowns. Of course, I had forgotten about studio pictures. And thus it seemed with every isle of merchandise came a fresh realization of some aspect of parenthood I had overlooked. I spent $60 on some cloth diapers, plastic pants, and a changing table mattress. I never located diaper pins and diaper pails which, to me, is some really bad product placement (given my profession's calling to help customers discover tangential interests and/or necessities simply by co-locating like items, when retailers drop the ball, I cut them no slack).
But the $60 was nothing compared to the big, blaring, "YOU ARE INADEQUATE" blanket that dropped on my head as I left and stuck to me for the rest of the day. From there, we stopped at one more store where I actually had to break into a bag of pretzels, in the car, because I couldn't make the 10 minute journey to my home. Oh! And, guess who thought she would only gain weight in/around her growing baby? That would be me, and that is not even close to what's really happening to my body. Add to "YOU ARE INADEQUATE," "YOU ARE GAINING TOO MUCH WEIGHT WHICH EVEN MAKES YOU AN INADEQUATE PREGNANT PERSON." My next doctor's appointment is Tuesday, so I will be able to ask the expert if I'm totally blowing it. I should also get to see another ultrasound, and not a moment too soon: I need to see some evidence of this living miracle to buttress my sagging confidence and to encourage me through this rough spot. Then maybe I will resume bidding on pumps.
1 comment:
Oh, my dear...where to start! First of all, I do think it's a product of the infertility that we perpetually feel inadequate. Lord knows, I still feel that way! Sorry about the breat pump loss. I'm sure you can sell it and get the one you want. I'm still rooting for the Medela! As for the weight gain, didn't I tell you that I was just shy of 200 lbs when I delivered? Your entire body changes with pregnancy, and as difficult as it seems to be losing control of your body, it's really a beautiful thing. I still don't have my body back, and at this point, I'm over it... I have two awesome babes and a heart full of love. You'll see- the weight gain is worth it. And you're itty bitty to start with so you should definitely aim to gain about 35 lbs. With breast feeding, the weight will just fall off... I promise! And as for the cloth diapers, we're using the bumgenius diapers from www.cottonbabies.com. We really love these cloth diapers. You probably only need 12 diapers, and they last till your babe is 35 lb! If you don't put these on your registry but are still interested in them, lemme know. FYI- we're bringing a car-full of stuff for you guys so get ready for the baby madness to begin!!!
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