countdown

I seem to be doing a lot of counting down lately. Like everyone else, counting down my financial well being is an option but one I'm not actually not exercising. Mainly, I countdown to the end of morning sickness (the problem being I have no idea when it will end just that everyone says it will end. And very suddenly). The irony of morning sickness (well, my brand of MS) is that it is not confined to mornings, and I haven't thrown up. I just find myself enjoying various food items one day and reviling them the next. So far, I have loved/now-hate applesauce, vegetable wraps, mixed vegetables, soup, white rice with Korean soy sauce, and apples. I just hope the sickness goes away before I run out of food groups. On the upside, I can handle coffee again, but it needs to be black and it needs to be after 10 AM.
I'm an ingrate and a blasphemer, but pregnancy is a drag right now.
The next countdown is to Nov. 4: for the election, of course, but also for the first ultrasound. Mr. R. is taking me to a specialist in Beechwood, and I'm so glad he is coming. I think this will involve some prenatal screenings, and that is nothing I can face without him. It should also involve the baby's first photo . . .
my co-worker noticed my bump this week and asked me, "how many you got in there?" I was horrified by the thought (her comment was quite hilarious) of multiples. What kind of a shitty mother am I? I know of a couple who have miscarried, like, 5 times. They finally committed to adoption, located a willing pregnant woman, and the woman just "changed her mind." I understand the ethical/emotional problems of sharing twins with this couple, but Goddamn! I know I can't handle two, and they only want one, ergo . . .
It's very disconcerting when you realize that YOU are the mother who would have let King Solomon cut the baby in half - remember that one? And the real mother revealed herself because she told Solomon to let the other mother have the baby rather than half the baby.
I'm seeing some things about myself that make me wonder why, after all this time, we end up pregnant when other couples clearly want it more, deserve it more? It just doesn't make sense.
Third, I'm counting down to the presidential election. I am working the polls between 1-7:30 PM, then I am pickling up pizza and parking myself in front of the telly to watch those returns roll in. I've waited 8 long, agonizing years for this, and I'm watching it if I have to ply myself with diet Mountain Dew and other foodstuffs high in caffiene. Heck, I might even partake in a champaign toast.